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Nov 20, 2016 — By: Maggie Riney
Ah, the holidays. The holidays are a time of generosity, a time of family, and a time to avoid sitting by Aunt Bertha because “No, I’m not dating anyone,” and, “Yes, I did hear that cousin Allie is engaged to a nice investment banker.”
While in between sips (who am I kidding, GLASSES) of your mom’s boxed wine and Uncle Kenny’s heated political debate with Great-Aunt Muriel that climate change does, in fact, exist, you may want get away. You may want to hide underneath your childhood twin bed and have a good laugh. And that, my fellow conflict-avoidance friends, I can help you with.
The best way to endure the craziness one’s family brings during the holidays is to find a household that is much more hectic than yours. The uproarious Running with Scissors: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs is guaranteed to make your kin seem as calm as the untouched Brussels sprouts casserole created by next-door neighbor Nancy. Inside you’ll find a dysfunctional psychiatrist, a self-taught veterinarian, and a delicious amount of mommy issues. You will only want to put this down if you are certain there is a new batch of Sister Schubert rolls coming from the oven.
If you are looking for a film to bring a smile to your face after being forced to sit at the kid’s table for the twenty-fifth consecutive year, perhaps try the movie Wild Oats. The perfect Jessica Lange and Shirley MacLaine show that desire and adventures come at every age, and perhaps that growing up is a lifelong process. (Take that Grandma Harriet for saying “When I was your age…”.)
Finally, is it time for Aunt Vivian to pull out her iPhone 3G to show pictures of her annual vacation to Sheboygan? Maybe you will need a little more time in your hideout (along with two slices of pumpkin pie and whatever is left in Grandpa Carl’s hip flask). For this, I suggest the amazingly witty show Shameless. You can relish in the fact that within the one hour it takes to watch your purse wasn’t stolen, you didn’t meet someone with a secret identity, and you didn’t walk in on an affair, and that is just the first episode.
While you cannot pick the family you are born into, you can pick your downloads (and just how much “cheer” you put in your eggnog). All of the content above, as well as hundreds of books, graphic novels, audiobooks, music, movies, and television shows are available for free on the Hoopla app with your library card information. Perhaps your hiding place will become a home for hibernating all winter long, or at least during the holiday season.